You might find it surprising that the best writing advice I ever received did not come from any of the writing coaches I’ve had over the years. It did not even come from a writer. It came from my husband, Daniel.
I had once again gotten tangled up in a spiderweb of worries and discouragement regarding my writing. No matter what I wrote, I hated it, and the mocking laughter of the imaginary critics filled my head.
Daniel stooped down and pulled me out from under what would have been a large pile of crumpled paper had computers not yet been invented. After hearing me out, he offered me the advice that has since become my motto as a writer:
“Why don’t you write for the people you love?”
He reminded me about how J. R. R. Tolkien, one of my greatest heroes, wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings with his children and grandchildren in mind. He reminded me about William P. Young, who wrote a story while traveling on the train between his three jobs, intending to give it to his children and grandchildren as a Christmas present, which then spread through word of mouth and became the life-changing bestseller known as The Shack.
Neither of these authors were writing to impress the literary critics or to become famous. They were writing because they had a story to tell, one so important and interesting that they wanted to share it with their loved ones.
Recently, while I was in another writing slump, I decided to talk to God about it during my morning quiet time. What He told me raised Daniel’s advice to a whole new level.
He reminded me of a dear family friend with a strong prophetic gift and a vision she once had while praying for me. She had no idea that I had been very uninspired for quite some time, feeling as though there was nothing in me to give. It was caused by more than just a writer’s block, but I felt as though I was a frozen river and the only way I could write was to force things out, since nothing flowed.
In her vision, I was gathering letters falling down from heaven and using them to write. She said that I was full of joy as I did that, and that the words flowed out of my heart and touched people’s lives.
When God reminded me of this vision, I could not believe that I’d even forgotten it. It had been central to my life for so many years. I suddenly realized that my problem was exactly that: I’d lost that center. Caught between all the writing advice out there and the urgency to get published and build up my brand (all of which are parts I genuinely enjoy about building a career as a writer), I’d forgotten why I’m even writing.
After that conversation with God, I remembered. I’m not writing to get published: finding a home for a piece I love is the added bonus. I’m writing for Him, the One who gave me my talent in the first place. I don’t know how my writings will (or maybe already do) impact others, but that’s not mine to worry about. My job is to write whatever God is inspiring me to write in that period of my life, and to leave the results to Him.
Knowing who you’re writing for and why is the best advice I can offer. It’s far more important than any writing technique you will learn, since it will be the core of what you do. It will carry you through every writing slump and rejection, reminding you that there are far more important reasons to keep on writing. And if discouragement finds you, as it most likely will, remember: write for the people you love.
It’s such a wise and relieving advice! Because he loves you, he can feel and say the truth.
I am glad you refound your center and writing motivation.
Sending you my love over and over
Marianaaa <3 Thank you so much for your sweet words! I'm so happy you read this, and I miss you so much!
So wonderful, God is with you I felt him so strongly when I read everythingā£šš„°
Dear Sonja, thank you so much :* Do you remember, it was Ursula that had the vision while the three of you were praying for me š I miss you guys a lot!
Indeed the best writing advice!
Much love to you and to Daniel <3
Thank you so much, Nazik <3 Much love and many hugs from me and Daniel!!
Bravo Daniel. I always knew that you would be an outstanding husband. However, i never thought that you would also be an extraordinary writing coach!
I am proud of my daughter and son-in-law…God has blessed you both.
Haha, thanks, Dad!
Even though we have not met, I am a Nercessian too,and Harout’s cousin.. I am glad I read your blog. It is wonderful to have a husband , a good friend and a writing coach rolled into one..That is an honest and very precious advice you could have received..right from the heart. May you both continue to have and develop a strong and beautiful relationship. Love is the basis of a good marriage. God Bless, you both.
Thank you so, so much for your kind words, Sonia! I hope we will meet one day š
“Write for the people you love”…simply love it!
Daniel will be very happy to hear that, haha!
Hi Christina! Sona from the AUA Writing Center sent me your blog (I’m currently an undergrad work-study there), and this is the first post I’ve read from you — thank you for sharing this.
I’ve been taking the Poetry class this semester and when I read this part in your post: “Iām writing for Him, the One who gave me my talent in the first place” – I knew I had to pause and pray to dedicate what I write in that class to God, as I previously just wrote for myself throughout the course š . The prophecy part in your post also reminded me of a prophetic word which a pastor gave me – that I’d write songs in the form of poetry, which will bring healing in the hearts of people (something I’ve lately been wanting to see in people’s hearts here in Armenia), and this brings my poetry-writing into perspective.
I’m grateful that your post gave me those reminders. God bless your writing journey! <3
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, Samantha (and to Sona for recommending my blog š). I’m so happy my blog post inspired you somehow! The prophesy about your songs bringing healing is so important and so amazing, and I hope to read your writing some day š¤